Lacking
by jenxbunni
Summary: Hiro is depressed and lacking motivation. Ryuichi is trying to help him shine but he keeps running away. What will an overdose do to him and his relationship with Ryuichi that he refuses to have?
1. Lifeless, Soulless Doll

**Lacking: A Hiro x Ryuichi fanfic**

**Chapter One: Lifeless, Soul-less Doll**

Hiro's gray eyes widened as a cup of water was splashed on him, the front of his white shirt completely see-through, water dripping from his face. "Nani?!" He asked in alarm, looking up at K as he stood in front of him.

"Third time you've spaced out today! One more time and its the death penalty!" K warned, waving his gun in warning, the empty cup in his other hand.

Hiro just sighed. He had been doing this for the past week and he didn't understand why. He couldn't play anything anymore. Well, he could, but it sounded lifeless not charged like it normally did. It's as if he had lost all his inspiration for music, all his passion for it. He shook his head lightly.

"Let's go through it again!" Shuichi announced enthusiastically.

Hiro shot a death glare at his best friend and band mate's back. Why did he have to insist on doing it again? Hiro had already snapped one string today and cut open his hand, now he'd have to go through it again.

Suguru started the opening to the song and Hiro sighed, going through his parts almost mechanically with no thought behind it. Shuichi's singing was getting better and more passionate, while Hiro played his parts without feeling.

_What is wrong with me? _

Hiro thought. He just wanted it to be time for them to leave so he could go to his one-room apartment. Maybe he'd call Yuji...that always cheered him up. He didn't know anymore. What was gonna help him play better?

Hiro was walking out of the studio, his red guitar strapped across his back, Shuichi walking beside him. Shuichi was off on another ramble about something or another and Hiro was nodding at appropriate intervals although he wasn't really listening. Instead he was focused on the rock god that was leaning against a wall.

Ryuichi stood there, head against the wall, eyes closed against the bright sunlight. He wore a black open vest and a pair of tight bondage pants. Attached to one of the chains was Kumagoro, hanging from it.

Hiro found himself staring at the pale skin of Ryuichi's chest. He looked away as he felt Ryuichi return the gaze.  
"Mr. Sakuma!" Shuichi cheered and ran over to glomp his idol. Hiro stood there, not sure what to say and slowly walked over to make sure Shuichi didn't get too out of hand.

"Shuichi!" Ryuichi said in his normal childish voice as he hugged Shuichi back, but his eyes were on Hiro, they were too serious. They showed that he was thinking deeply about something. Hiro wondered if Ryuichi was thinking about him but he didn't voice his question.

"Hiro you need to sparkle more." Ryuichi said suddenly as he let go of Shuichi, studying Hiro.

Shuichi's phone rang loudly, breaking the moment that had been growing between Ryuichi and Hiro. "That was my alarm! I gotta get home! I was gonna cook for Yuki so he'd know how much I love him!" Shuichi blabbered and then took off in a run leaving them there, amazed at how fast he could run when it came to him doing something for his love.

Hiro shook his head. "He's really got it bad." He said watching as Shuichi ran as fast as he could to Yuki's apartment. Hiro turned his attention on Ryuichi. "I don't need to sparkle at all. I don't shine, I stay in the background and try not to draw attention to myself." He said with a weak smile.

Ryuichi shook his head and shot Hiro a glare. "Nuh uh! That's not how its supposed to be. Su-su shines all green and sparkly and amazing. Shu-shu shines all pink. You're supposed to have a fierce red light about you." Ryuichi said with a nod of his head. His voice was childish but his eyes were serious.

"And what color do you shine, Mr. Sakuma?" Hiro asked after a second.

"I never thought about it before. And its Ryu! Not Mr. That makes me sound old like Tohma." Ryuichi said easily. He hated it when he was called that, although he was 31, but he didn't look or act it.

"You shine purple." Hiro said suddenly, surprising himself when he said it without thinking. "You shine purple because you're like royalty to all of us." He said as he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Ryuichi listened to the compliment although he didn't fully believe it. He couldn't be the royalty of them all. He just enjoyed singing...he actually didn't even think he sounded that great when he sang. "Hey! I got an idea! We should play karaoke." He nodded enthusiastically. "I've never heard Hiro-hiro sing."

Hiro blushed and ran a hand through his glossy red hair. "I can't sing." He lied easily. He could, but it wasn't anything like Ryuichi or Shuichi could. He could only sing country and light rock, nothing loud or anything and he was a bit embarrassed by that fact.

"Come on! I'm sure you can! Please?" Ryuichi gave him a pleading almost crying look. "Please, please, please?" He begged.

Hiro looked at the begging man in front of him and felt something give. He nodded and smiled. "Okay. But you can't laugh," He said easily. Why did he give in? Even Shuichi hadn't heard him sing, actually sing before.

Ryuichi just smiled. "Ooh! I have a karaoke machine and lots of songs at my place!" He announced with a grin as he looked at Hiro.

Hiro just smiled. "Sounds good. Just remember we both have work tomorrow." He said. It was almost like dealing with Shuichi...except why was his heart pounding and his palms sweating? He couldn't possibly...like Mr. Sakuma.

"Let's go!" The serious look was gone as he started to walk with Hiro to his apartment.

Soon enough they were in the middle of a living room, with a karaoke machine hooked to a tv and two microphones. Ryuichi was grinning from ear to ear. "You get to sing first." He said easily.

Hiro bit his lip, not sure what he was going to sing. He flipped through the CDs and found one full of country songs in English. He saw one that he knew, but it was really sad. Still...Ryuichi had said he wanted to hear Hiro sing.

He put the CD in, flipping to "Tonight I Wanna Cry" by Keith Urban. When he sang, Ryuichi couldn't do anything but listen, picking up the traces of sadness in Hiro's voice.

_Alone in this house again tonight_

_I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine_

_There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away_

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on  
'All By Myself' would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

Ryuichi was too stunned by the sadness in Hiro's voice to do anything but sit there and stare at Hiro. Hiro did shine, but he didn't shine red like when he played the guitar. He shined blue...and it was a sad sort of glow now that he saw it.

"Hey, its getting late...I think I'm gonna go." Hiro said with a shrug. The song had made him feel a bit worse then he already had.

Ryuichi nodded, seeming to understand as he stood up and hugged Hiro goodbye. Although he had never hugged Hiro before. "You do shine Hiro, but not the way you're supposed to." He said softly.

Hiro just left, catching a cab to his apartment, running away from the feelings he had felt while around Ryuichi. He had almost felt complete again. Almost felt happy. That time was over, wasn't it?

He got to his apartment and went to the fridge grabbing a can of beer and popping open the can, drinking it before he could even try to sleep. He was soon on his second though, putting two pills in his mouth and washing them down with the beer. Sleeping pills would help everything.

They always did...

Hiro just shook his head, wondering what he would look like if he took too many. What would it feel like? He just hoped he would never get depressed enough to know.

A/N: My first Gravitation fanfic. I'm not sure that they ever mentioned how Ryu's house is. So I couldn't really give much detail there. And I know...Hiro's a bit depressed, but this fic isn't just about how depressed he is.

R & R please. Constructive criticism only. No flames.

Oh, and I really need a beta and a muse? If you'd like to help email me at

Thanks!


	2. Another Day

**Lacking: A Ryuichi x Hiro**

**Chapter 2: Another Day**

Hiro went through the music mechanically, not thinking about it just running through it. Suguru slammed his hands down on the keyboard as he stood up. "What is your problem? You haven't been playing the same for weeks. If it isn't Shuichi messing up the vocals its you messing up the guitar. I give up for today!" And with that he stormed out of the studio as Mr. Sakano ran after him.

K followed with his gun, planning on dragging Suguru back. Both K and Mr. Sakano came back without Suguru though.

"He ran to Tohma's office. So...as much as I hate to say this you guys can go home for today. Not much use practicing without him here." K said with a sigh. He held a gun to Hiro's head. "If you aren't better tomorrow then I won't hesitate to shoot."

Hiro just nodded and walked out to see Ryuichi at the vending machine.

"Hiro!" Ryuichi suddenly glomped him. Hiro was glad he was used to Shuichi doing it or he would've fallen down. But unlike when he punched Shuichi he just patted Ryuichi on the head. "You don't look so good. You look pale. Mr. Bear's gonna worry if you don't get better." He said, a pout on his sexy lips.

Had Hiro really been thinking Ryuichi's lips were sexy? "I just...didn't sleep well. Tell Mr. Bear not to worry. I'll be fine." He said with a smile. It was all a lie, but what was he going to say.

"Hiro...can Mr. Bear and Ryu stay the night with you? Mr. Bear wants to make sure you get plenty of quiet and sleep!" Ryuichi said after a moment, waiting on Hiro's answer.

Hiro smiled. "Of course you can. I'm off now, we can go over to your place so you can get anything you need and then head over there." He offered.

Ryuichi smiled and let go of Hiro, jumping up happily. "It's been forever since Mr. Bear and I got to go to a sleepover! This'll be so fun." He said.

They headed over to his place as he just changed clothes, not in front of Hiro though. Hiro stayed in the kitchen with Mr. Bear while Ryuichi went to his room. He came back in a pair of black pants that were pajama pants and a loose red tank top. He looked good.

There Hiro went again. He couldn't keep thinking like that. Ryuichi brushed past him to get Mr. Bear and Hiro flinched ever-so-slightly, the touch making him want to just grab the older man and hold him against himself.

_Stop thinking like that...its not right._

Hiro shook his head and forced a smile. "Ready to go?" He asked him. Ryuichi nodded and Hiro went out to where he had his motorcycle parked. He got on, pulling on his helmet and handing the spare one to Ryuichi. He soon started to go to his apartment, trying to ignore Ryuichi's arms around his waist as they drove.

Soon parked in front of his apartment and went up with Ryuichi after leaving the helmets with his motorcycle. He opened the door, leading to a neat apartment. "Well, welcome to my place," He said with a smile.

"Wow. Hiro's so neat. Ryu could never be this neat. Hiro's so amazing." He said as he looked at Hiro with adoring chibi eyes.

Hiro just laughed. "I don't know about that. But I do like to keep my apartment neat, but its a lot of work." He said with a smile. "Since you're here, how about an opportunity to taste my cooking?" He offered with a smile.

Ryuichi nodded, mouth watering at the thought of food. He was in one of his childish moods and it made Hiro think that he was cute. He went to the kitchen. It was around lunch time so he decided to make something easy. He started the rice cooker, putting enough rice in for two before he went to get peanut butter, making one of Shuichi's favorite lunchs. Since Ryuichi and Shuichi were so much alike it would probably be something good to make.

He made sandwiches and for desert were riceballs, except the filling was strawberry filling and peanut butter. He put the plates on the table as he went to get drinks, handing over a strawberry soda and getting one for himself.

They started to eat, Ryuichi surprised that Hiro could cook, even if this was simple it was really good and it had been a while since Ryuichi had food that someone had made for him. It made him like Hiro all the more, but something was up with Hiro...and Ryuichi wanted to find out what.

"Wow! Not only are you neat but this is the best! I'm so glad you let Mr. Bear and I come over." Ryuichi said as he smiled at Hiro.

Soon enough they were done eating and Ryuichi was helping Hiro do the dishes, having fun with the soap bubbles. After a minute he reached over with his soapy hand and patted Hiro's cheek, leaving a soapy hand print. He laughed at that.

Hiro rolled his eyes and took the spray handle attached to the sink and sprayed Ryuichi, completely soaking him and he laughed. Ryuichi soon stole the sprayer, spraying Hiro down too. They both stood there, dripping wet and laughing, dripping onto the kitchen floor. As Hiro went to move to get a towel he slipped and fell. Ryuichi reached out to catch him but ended up falling with Hiro, landing on top of him. It caused them both to laugh some more.

Suddenly the mood got serious, tension building between the two as Ryuichi looked down into Hiro's gray eyes with his dark purple ones.

Then Ryuichi was kissing Hiro and Hiro was kissing back. Ryuichi was straddling Hiro's stomach, and Hiro's hands were running along Ryuichi's scalp and down his back. Ryuichi's hands were running along Hiro's cheeks as both of them shut their eyes and continued the movements.

Until the door opened and Ayaka stepped in, seeing the situation. "And I was here to apologize. I don't think I need to now. It's over!" She said in an outraged tone before running off.

Ryuichi pulled back, not knowing enough about Hiro's personal life to know he had a girlfriend. Or had a girlfriend. Not anymore now. He slowly stood up, holding his hand out to help Hiro up.

Hiro took the hand and stood up. He was shocked. He had just been kissing Ryuichi...and now he lost his girlfriend. He couldn't think straight through it all. "I'm sorry Ryuichi, but I...I need some time to think. You can still stay though." He said, heading to the bathroom, turning the shower on, so Ryuichi would think he was taking a shower. He just shut the door and sat against it.

What was he doing? Ayaka and him had been going steady for a while...unless she got mad about him spending more time with Shuichi then her. Like they had argued about two weeks ago. Now she had been ready to apologize and he had been kissing Ryuichi, soaked on the kitchen floor.

He had been kissing Ryuichi.

Ryuichi's lips on his feverishly, their tongues battling for dominance. It had felt wonderful. It had felt right. It had been perfect.

Then why did he feel so upset about Ayaka dumping him?

It was too complicated. It was too hard to think. He needed calm. The calm sleep gave him. His hands found the sleeping pill bottle and he dumped the contents on the bathroom sink, downing the contents without thinking. Then realizing what he had done. Not long after he had passed out on the bathroom floor.

After an hour of Hiro not answering him, Ryuichi went into the bathroom to find Hiro laying there on the floor, an empty pill bottle on the counter. He called for an ambulance, knowing this was all his fault as he prayed that Hiro would be okay. That the man he loved would pull through. He had to pull through.

Only to find out a week later there was no change. Hiro was alive...he was alive...and in a coma.

A/N: I know, I know. It sucked. But remember, Hiro's been depressed and taking these pills for the past two weeks. Or has he been taking them longer? What's the real reason he's depressed? And will he wake up again? I sure hope so or this would be a sucky fic. Anyways, yes there are more chapters in store.


	3. It Can Never Be the Same

**Lacking: A Hiro x Ryuichi fanfic**

**Chapter Three: It Can Never Be the Same**

Hiro woke up and looked around the small room, trying to figure out where he was. "Hello...Is anyone here?" He asked. It felt like the room was moving and he felt nauseous. He moved to sit up and look around the small room. The floor was wooden as was the bed. The walls were bare and there was a desk in the corner with maps all over it. He stood up and went to the door, planning on opening it and finding out where he was but he was surprised to find it locked from the outside.

He tried to get it to open but it wouldn't budge. The lock wasn't like any type he was used to. Who used locks that locked from the outside anymore, anyways? He banged on the door. "Hey! Let me out of here! Hey! Anyone!" He didn't get an answer, although he knew there was no way he was in his apartment.

He almost fell over as the room shook and he landed on his ass on the floor. "Where the hell am I?" He screamed, frustrated.

That's when he heard the lock in the door click and the door was opened. The first thing he saw were a pair of boots, then brown trousers, then a white open chested poet's shirt, until finally he saw the face of his love, Ryuichi.

"Ryuichi?" Hiro asked, blinking as he saw the belt around Ryuichi's waist. There was a cutlass attached to his side. Where had he gotten one of those? Was he cosplaying or something?

"That's captain Ryu, to you, slave." He sneered and it was so much unlike the Ryuichi that Hiro knew, that Hiro laughed outloud.

"Come on, 'Captain Ryu'. What's with the act? And the clothes? Are you cosplaying or something?" Hiro asked, completely thinking this was just a joke, a prank set up by Shuichi and K because of his sucky performance recently.

"You don't have the right to talk to me like that. Shut your bloody mouth or I'll shut it for you." Captain Ryu snapped. His cutlass was out in the blink of an eye and the tip was touching Hiro's nose, not cutting it, but pressing a bit.

Hiro yelped in surprise and scrambled back across the floor. "Y-you could've cut me! Don't play around like that!" He said, getting more frustrated by the way things were turning out. He didn't even know where he was, and here was Ryuichi without the trace of his carefree smile...or without Mr. Bear in sight. "Where's Mr. Bear?" He blinked, looking around. Surely that had to be the same.

The cutlass was at Hiro's chest this time and it was the first time Hiro had noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt. He felt the blade against his chest and it made him blush all of a sudden. As he wondered how talented Ryuichi was with the thing. He still wouldn't believe this captain nonsense. Surely Ryuichi had just had too many sodas or something...and it had gone to his head.

Soon enough the cutlass was being drawn down his chest and he didn't even hear Ryu's answer as he saw a line of blood drip down. His breath caught at the sensation of being cut. He watched stunned as Ryuichi leaned forward and licked the line of blood all the way down to Hiro's navel. Hiro bucked up at the feeling, pressing up into Ryuichi, his body suddenly feeling very very hot and craving attention.

"So you aren't immune like you pretend to be, little prince." Ryu said easily, a smirk on his features. He moved back, putting his cutlass back on his belt. "We'll see how immune you can be." He said with a laugh as he stood up, leaving Hiro there on the floor. "I won't lock the door this time, there isn't much harm you can do." He said, reassured. "I'm sure you won't be here long. At next port I'm sure your fiancée will pay handsomely to have you back." With that he walked up the stairs out of the room.

Hiro blinked. What had just happened? Why did Ryu call him a prince? And fiancée? He didn't have one of those last time he checked. A port? It sounded so much like a pirate movie that Hiro wanted to laugh. How corny could things get? Maybe they were filming a movie. That's why they had taken Hiro from his bed and not told him, maybe he was supposed to act like he was. Although, the cut had been a bit much.

He stood up, finding himself shaking a bit from the contact with Ryu. "Oh...god...why'd he have to do that?" Hiro groaned to himself as he walked up the stairs. He came up on the deck of a ship. He looked around and saw people bustling about. His eyes widened. "No...way..." He said, jaw dropping.

He was on an honest pirate ship. There were people carrying cutlasses all around, and there were actual cannons. The sails moved with the wind and the water was blue as far as he could see. "How...why...what?" He stammered, glad no one was close enough to hear him. Suddenly, he felt himself falling and he collapsed against the deck smelling the vinegar they used to clean it. He wrinkled his nose and felt his consciousness slip away.

The smell of vinegar was replaced with antiseptic and when he opened his eyes he was in a hospital bed, in a pair of hospital stretchy pants and no shirt. "What? Captain Ryu?" He stumbled, blinking and opening his eyes again.

He saw Shuichi by his bedside and he looked around, hoping to find Ryuichi in the room. He was disappointed to see that he wasn't anywhere.

"Oh Hiro! Why'd you do it? Why did you try to kill yourself?" Shuichi sobbed, suddenly grasping Hiro's hand and squeezing tightly. "Nothing's the same without you." He whimpered helplessly, gripping tighter to where Hiro's knuckles turned white. "Oh Hiro!"

Suddenly a nurse came in. "Medication time," She said in the fake, cheerful nature all nurses had. She looked young and checked out Hiro as she walked in. Hiro suddenly had a reason to worry about staying in the hospital. She put the needle in his IV, shooting some medicine into him. He wasn't sure what it was but he was sleepy all of a sudden. His stomach churned and he felt like throwing up. The medicine soon made the feeling go away and he realized it must have been something for his nausea.

"Shu...tell...Ryu...I'm sorry. So...so sorry. It can never be the same." He spoke lightly before closing his eyes and he was asleep again.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You sick or something?! Talk to me." The voice of Captain Ryu came to Hiro. It was different from Ryuichi's. It was gruffer, and had a cold edge to it, just like the cutlass at his waist. Hiro opened his eyes and looked up.

"My name's Hiro...and I honestly don't know what is wrong with me." He said simply. He wanted to know what the hell was going on. Which was real? The hospital or this ship. Did he really try to kill himself? Why? What was going on and why couldn't he remember.

"Prince Hiro. It has a certain ring to it." Ryu said approvingly as he leaned in closer to Hiro. "You're kind of cute for a rich son of a bitch." He said, and it was the first time Hiro had ever heard Ryu cuss.

It was then that Hiro noticed he was tied to the bed, his hands against the bed post and his ankles at the bottom of the bed. He was tied by rough ropes. He squirmed lightly. He still had his pants on, so nothing had happened. Why hadn't he noticed before? "Why am I tied up?" He stammered, blushing, not sure if he liked the situation or not. He felt helpless.

"Because I felt like it. You're my slave, you should get used to it. Until we get to the next point I can do what I want to you and you're in no position to resist." Ryu said, his voice falling into a familiar seductive purr as he leaned forward to nibble on Hiro's earlobe. He was enjoying this and it showed through his loose trousers. Soon enough a dagger was in his hand as he cut off Hiro's pants, dropping the remains to the floor. The dagger disappeared as soon as it had appeared. He didn't take off his own pants though.

Hiro was shaking, scared of this new, dominant Ryu. But he was growing hard and he wanted Ryu to cut him. He wanted to be hurt. He deserved it. He was a slave now, right? Isn't that what Ryu had told him? He squirmed against the ropes again. Was Ryu going to rape him? The thought excited him even more.

"Look at that, I haven't even touched you yet and you're already so ready to please." Ryu purred as his hand moved to grip Hiro's cock, rubbing him lightly, his thumb rubbing over the tip as Hiro moaned in pleasure.

Hiro's eyes shut and when he opened them he wasn't tied to the bed in the cabin of the ship anymore. He was in the hospital bed, tied up by white straps that looked like bandages but he couldn't be sure. He felt himself being rubbed and he turned to look. His eyes widened as he saw the nurse who had given him medication. She was there rubbing him and he knew it had to be past visiting hours. He squirmed, wanting away from her touch. She wasn't Ryu. She wasn't allowed to touch him there. "Stop it!" He said, coughing because his throat was dry and he could barely complain.

"Shush now...or I might just have to overdose you." She warned him. She was pretty, but Hiro didn't notice that. He turned to look away from her, his body enjoying the attention as she continued rubbing him. He saw the IV and saw the medicine bag. It was morphine, not something you gave to someone who had overdosed on drugs. That was right...he had overdosed. His gaze fell on the white board and saw the date. It had been almost two months since that day.

Had she been doing this to him for two months when he couldn't fight her? Tears started to pool but he tried not to think about it. He was 19. He shouldn't be crying over this. Other guys would be happy to have this happen to them. Hiro just wanted Ryuichi.

He shut his eyes tightly, ignoring her moans as she was on top of him now, riding him, but he couldn't fade away this time. He couldn't go back to his gruff captain. He had to sit there and endure her on top of him, hearing her moans surrounding him, wanting to be anywhere else.

"Ryuichi," He sobbed the name lightly, wanting the man he loved. Wanting to see Mr. Bear. Wanting his kiss, not this woman's lips on his, her sloppy wet kiss. He had never found women disgusting before, but now...now he wanted to be anywhere.

A/N: I dunno how this chapter came to happen. I woke up at around 2-ish and suddenly had to write this. I feel bad for how Hiro's been. Although, does anyone other then me think Ryu would be a hot captain? Of course...Captain Ryu is sorta OOC. But its not supposed to be our pop idol Ryuichi. It's meant to be this way. I also feel disgusted myself by the nurse.


	4. Note To Readers

**Short note. **

**After all the people who added this to their updates I'm going to head back onto it. I've started Chapter 4 and since I'm out of school for the summer I'll have plenty of time to work on it, and I have plenty ideas. ^^ I'm gonna have Chapter 4 up before Wednesday, promise. Stay with me. It'll get a lot better. I still need a beta reader.**


	5. Finally, a friend

**Lacking: A Hiro x Ryuichi fic**

**Chapter Four: Finally, a friend.**

Day after day, Hiro dealt with that horrible nurse. She took advantage of him, she drugged him. And he couldn't do anything to fight the sleep that over came him from the medicine. If anything, he was more depressed then when he had first taken the pills.

"I just want out of this all." Hiro said, sitting on the railing of the pirate ship, looking out to the sea. Hiro had soon learned that this ship was his refuge, his way to escape it all.

There was only one problem. He had heard some of the pirates talking, and apparently the next port was nearby. He'd be handed over to his fiancée whoever she was. He ran a hand through his long red hair as he looked out onto the sea.

It was so calm and peaceful. So different from the way he felt.

"What do you think you're doing, slave?" The gruff voice asked as he felt someone come up behind him. Hiro didn't have to look behind him to know who it was.

"Sitting here last time I checked." He said, being a smart-ass. He liked the slight edge of abuse he got from Captain Ryu. Somehow this was better then his real life.

Was the hospital his real life though? Or was that just a nightmare? Was this the dream or was this reality? What was real?

"Quit being such a smart ass." Captain Ryu growled as he grabbed Hiro by his hair, pulling him forward.

"Ow, ow, ow." Hiro griped as he felt his hair being pulled. He was soon on his knees in front of the captain.

"Or I might have to punish you." Ryu said with a sudden smirk.

Hiro shivered a bit and looked down. He had learned everything there was to know about his life here. He was a prince, who apparently had been kidnapped for ransom. Somehow when he was first captured he had been immune to Ryu's advances...but Hiro honestly didn't remember that. He was engaged to some princess he had never met before.

"And I might like that." Hiro grinned. He had learned to deal with Ryu's teasing, by just going along with it, and acting like it was all perfectly normal.

He had fallen hard, for Captain Ryu, and for his pop idol Ryuichi. Both held high places in his heart. Although...he hadn't seen his Ryuichi since that night.

"I'm sure you would." Ryu rolled his eyes and pushed Hiro down on the deck, holding him there with his boot on his chest for a second before letting him up.

Hiro just shook his head and sat up, a goofy grin on his face as he stared after Ryu, and the rest of the pirates would have to be blind if they didn't notice the look.

Hiro stood up after a moment, and pulled a piece of leather to pull his hair back with. He had gotten the habit of walking around shirtless around the ship, and although he was Ryu's slave...none of the other pirates messed with him.

There were no women on the ship, and for that Hiro was glad. After his dreams of the nurse, he didn't know if he could be around anymore women. Was there such a thing as a fear of women, Hiro found himself wondering.

"Looks like its going to storm. You might want to go to Ryu's cabin so you don't get stuck out here during the brunt of it." Said a voice that made Hiro turn.

Shuichi!

"W-who are you?" Hiro asked after a moment, looking at the guy standing next to him.

He was shorter then Hiro, but his hair was the dark black/brown of Shuichi's natural hair color, not the bubble gum pink that he dyed it. His eyes were also Shuichi's natural honey brown color. But, it looked like Shuichi still.

"Name's Chi." He answered Hiro. He gave a childish smile.

Hiro smiled back and before he thought about it he affectionately bonked "Chi" on the head, like he would Shuichi. "Hiro." He answered.

Chi whined a bit and rubbed his head, but was soon smiling. "We should be friends!" He said immediately. While the rest of the pirates seemed gruff and mean, Chi seemed completely innocent and happy.

Hiro grinned. "Sounds like a plan." He said. It would be nice having a friend on the ship.

Chi looked around a few times. "Come on, you can come with me. I won't be missed, I mess everything up anyways." He said with a nonchalant grin. He led Hiro to the galley, sitting up on the counter while Hiro sat down on a chair. "So you're a prince, huh?" He asked.

"That's what Ryu says...but I don't remember anything really." He said, with a sheepish smile. "So I'm not sure what I am here."

Chi blinked, surprised by that. He had been prepared to ask what it was like being a prince. Was it fun? Did he meet a lot of cute guys? He had a load of questions...but since Hiro said he didn't remember. "Ohs, well...how do you not remember?" He asked.

Hiro felt like he was talking to Shuichi. Not just Chi. It was like those afternoons when Shuichi would come over to copy Hiro's homework and the two of them would talk about everything they could think of. Any problem one had. Just everything.

"Well...its like I have two lives. And only one of them is real. But they both feel real to me. There's this life...where I'm a prince, and you and Ryu are pirates. And then...there's another life where things are more modern. You and Ryu are both popular singers. You and I have a band and we've been friends since high school. Yuki and you are lovers...and Ryu and I are...close friends." Hiro said all of it before he realized what he was saying.

When he realized that he had probably just confused Chi, he looked up. "I'm sorry, you probably think I'm crazy." he said.

Chi shook his head. "No...you know about Yuki and I." He said, thinking about things. "I don't think you're crazy. Maybe the one that's real...is the one you want to be real." He said, thoughtfully.

"Now I know I'm crazy." Hiro said, with a laugh. "You're actually making some sense." He said, smiling.

Chi couldn't help but laugh with Hiro. "I have my moments."

Hiro knew now...the pirate ship, Captain Ryu, Chi...none of this was real. It was just...his escape. But he wasn't sure he wanted to leave. The other reality was so much harsher. He was raped, he was used. He was alone. And still he didn't know what him and Ryuichi were.

"But I like it better here." Hiro said, serious again. His gray eyes looked up to meet Shuichi's honey brown eyes.

"Maybe that's because you're afraid of the truth." Chi said again. He gave a smile to Hiro. Then he stood up and suddenly left Hiro.

Hiro stayed in the room, laying his head down on his arms, leaning against the table. "What do I do?" He asked himself softly. He shut his eyes, and before he knew it...he was there again.

It must have been visiting hours, because when he opened his eyes, Shuichi was clinging to his hand. Yuki was standing by the door, looking upset at how upset his boyfriend was.

Hiro reached up, accidentally pulling the IV a bit, but he bonked Shuichi on the head. "Don't cry." He said softly.

Shuichi looked up, and saw Hiro awake. He jumped on him, automatically clinging, not caring about the IV or the other cords hooked up to Hiro. He just wrapped his arms around Hiro's neck and hugged him tightly.

"Don't ever scare me like that. If you weren't here...where would I be?" Shuichi said into Hiro's hair, crying.

Hiro was used to emotion from Shuichi, but not like this. Not so raw and not over him. He patted his head. "I won't leave you...just please get me out of here as soon as you can." He said softly. His memories were on the nurse.

"I don't think they're going to let you out anytime soon, Hiroshi." Yuki said suddenly, reminding Hiro that he was there. He didn't seem to mind his boyfriend cuddled up to Hiro though. "You've been in a coma for almost four months. It's a surprise you're even awake...I doubt they'll let you out just like that. They'll want to find out why you've been under so long." He pointed out.

Hiro sighed. He knew why he had been out. The drugs the nurse had been giving him. But he wasn't sure how to just accuse her of it. He had no proof. He doubted anyone would listen to that story, especially when he had been dreaming of Ryuichi as a pirate captain, and Shuichi as a thoughtful pirate.

Yeah...of course they'd believe him.

"You're right." Hiro said with a sigh. He looked at Shuichi though. "Can you call Ryu and ask him to come up here?" He asked his best friend.

Shuichi tilted his head curiously. He had known something was going on between Ryuichi and Hiro, especially when Ryuichi hung around the hospital any chance he could get. Ryuichi had a new album out, since Bad Luck was taking a break until Hiro got better...although Tohma had wanted to replace Hiro, Shuichi had been insistent on Hiro coming back.

When Ryuichi wasn't busy with his album or appearances, he had been at the hospital next to Ryuichi. Of course, he was kicked out as soon as visiting hours were over. Still...no one knew why Ryuichi was suddenly so attached to Hiro.

"Sure, I'll call him." Shuichi said with a smile to his friend. He let go of Hiro and dug around for his phone and called Ryuichi. "Ryu! Hiro's awake! Yeah! Okay. Bye bye." He said. Looking over at Hiro he said, "Ryu said him and Mr. Bear will be here right away."

Hiro smiled and gave a sigh in relief, hugging his friend again. Things would be okay, he was going to see Ryuichi soon.

**A/N: Okay, wow...this just wore me out and its not even that long. I know I could add onto it, and all that. But I'm way too lazy. I just said I'd have it up...so I'm going to put it up before I delay it another week.**

**Right now my top fanfic priorities are my Ouran High School Host Club one, and my Beetlejuice one. This one takes a lot out of me cause I'm having serious writer's block. That's why I didn't update for almost a year now.**

**It's 10:29 AM and I haven't gotten much sleep, which is probably why this chapter is so crappy. I woke up at around 6 cause my niece is over here. My mom's babysitting. And the stupid brat can wail. I know my mom calls me a banshee...but damn, she fucking killed me.**

**And now my friend's being bitchy about me telling him about his girlfriend. I'm so fucking tired of this. She was my friend first. Oh wells. I'm too tired to really care. I'll care later.**

**Oh, yeah, now I'm just griping about my life. Anyways, I did this because I know if I put it off until later today then I wouldn't do it. I'd just update my Ouran or Beej fic instead. Well, until later. ~Hyuu**


	6. Another apology

Another note:

My computer killed itself, and I have no access to a computer at this time. Other than the school's…and the school has a block to where I cannot log into my account or update anything. I'm sorry, I should be getting a laptop soon. And when I do, this is going to be my first project. I'm going to try and beg a friend to let me use their computer to put up a new chapter, but until then please be patient with me. I know I'm horrible for leaving this story hanging for so long.

Love all the faithful readers who are willing to wait on the next chapter!


	7. No One Will Ever Hurt You

**Lacking: A Hiro x Ryuichi fic**

**Chapter 5: No one can ever hurt you.**

Hiro convinced Shuichi to stay with him until Ryuichi arrived. It was really easy to convince Shuichi of it. Especially since Hiro hadn't been awakened for four months. Shuichi wouldn't let go of his friend, and Yuki seemed slightly amused by it, although Hiro knew he would rather be somewhere he could smoke.

"So, what's been going on...?" Hiro asked, in a lame excuse to drive conversation. He was actually thankful that most of the people he knew were guys...he wasn't sure how he'd react after all those nights with that nurse.

"Ryu has a new album, on his own though, not as part of Nittle Grasper." He said, and went onto a chatter about how great the music was. Then he paused in what seemed to be endless chatter. "Yuki and I got engaged!" He said with a huge childish grin.

Engaged? Hiro was taken by surprise. He knew Yuki was at least somewhat serious about Shuichi, but Hiro had always expected that Yuki was cheating on him. Hiro looked over at him, and Yuki gave a slight shrug. "He conned me into it." He said flatly, with no emotion to his tone.

Shuichi looked about ready to start dancing with happiness. "He's just saying that." He whispered confidentially to his friend.

Yuki rolled his eyes. "I'm going out for a smoke." He said, gruff about it. As if he was almost embarrassed about the news.

Hiro smiled. He was honestly happy for his friend. "That's great, Shu! So, am I invited?" He teased. Maybe this world wasn't that bad...

Shuichi grinned. "If we can ever get you out of this hospital bed!" He said. "We're planning a ceremony for next summer. That gives Bad Luck time to go on tour. I have a feeling I'm never gonna wanna leave our honeymoon. He's taking me to some island chain, I can't remember which though. Bahamas? No, no. Galapogeas? Wait, that's not the right thing. Oh well, it's gonna be great. Especially in the summer. A romantic vacation, just the two of us, isn't it great?!" He was rambling again, oblivious as usual.

Hiro was glad for the chatter though. It felt real, and he was glad for it. Things had been so...surreal for too long. Although, he wondered how Chi was doing. In a time where pirates weren't exactly allowed to get engaged or go on island honeymoons with rich novelists. Then his thoughts went to Captain Ryu. They were nearing the next port, and soon Hiro would be ransomed off.

"Hiro? Hiro? Are you listening?" Shuichi asked, face close to Hiro's. "You never listen to me! Geez, what type stuff do they have you on...?"

"Not the right stuff, that's for sure." Hiro said, snapping back to the hospital room and Shuichi. "Yeah, you said your honeymoon is going to be on an island. That's great. I can't believe you're finally getting what you've dreamed of. Lots of time alone with him, huh?" Hiro faked a grin, and a wink to tease Shuichi and pretend he was fully there.

The door to the room opened though, and Hiro froze. It was that nurse. She frowned for a second, at the sight of him and Shuichi on the bed together, and the happy look on Shuichi's face. Still, after a second she gave a smile, the cheery nurse demeanor. "Well, look who's up. The doctor should be pleased to know of your progress, Mr. Nakano." She said.

Shuichi looked at the nurse, and then at Hiro. He had missed something, he knew that...but what? "Yeah, it's great. Hiro's finally awake again and maybe if the doctor comes in then I can tell him to let Hiro go. I'm a singer you know, I'm sure the doctor will understand that I need him back to be my guitarist again, and then things will be great again. See, Hiro? You'll never have to be back in this hospital again."

Hiro sighed in relief. "Yeah, **miss**_**, could you please get the doctor**_?" His voice was cruel, and...dark in a way that he had never spoken to anyone. Even worse then when he defended people who would hurt Shuichi. But, that lady had used him. In a way no one should've taken advantage of him.

"Um, sure sir. I'll make sure to tell him about your moodiness while I'm at it." She said, a hint of malice in her tone that only Hiro picked up. She walked out of the room, leaving the door open.

Shuichi looked at Hiro.

Hiro was shivering, violently...and was he crying? This was a side of Hiro that Shuichi had never seen. Or somehow had missed. "Hiro...?" He asked, his voice soft. He gently touched Hiro's arm. Then he realized something. The shivering, the crying. He had felt the same. The day that Ask had taken pictures of him...and...

"Hiro!" Shuichi said, in a tone that was surprised, and worried. He hugged Hiro. He wasn't good at being consoling normally, especially because he had never had to be the consoling one between the two of them.

"Did...she...?" Shuichi had to be careful asking, but...somehow he knew now.

Hiro didn't want to say yes. He couldn't be the weak one. That wasn't his place. But, he couldn't lie to Shuichi about this either. "Yeah...she's been...drugging me for almost four months. Since I got admitted really. And...doing...stuff." He said, swallowing back tears.

Shuichi was repulsed. "T – that lady! She isn't gonna get away with this, don't you worry about it!" He was angry about it. How could anyone do that to _his_ best friend.

The door opened again, and the two of them froze. Ryuichi stood there. He had heard. He rushed over to the bed. "So, this whole time?" He locked eyes with Shuichi, his face showing no trace of childness.

Shuichi and him were in agreement. There was no way either of the men would let the nurse get away with what she did to Hiro.

**A/N: So short! But, I thought this would be good. I'm going to start writing again, but I'm dead tired right now so this is all I've got for now. Next chapter will show what finally happens to the nurse, although it isn't going to be the end.**

**I'm sorry for the delay. I should finally be updating normally again. I hope this whole chapter was in character for all of them, it's been a while since I've watched Gravitation. But anyways, review please. ^^**

**Oh, and because I'm dying to say this...**

**I'm back baby!**


End file.
